


Unlikely and Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

by Ink_Pots



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Depression, M/M, Steven Universe Needs Therapy, Steven and Connie aren't dating, Steven is 17, Steven needs a hug, This takes place after Prickly Pair, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, kevin is a creep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:07:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22630735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ink_Pots/pseuds/Ink_Pots
Summary: Steven is a sad boi and decides to go to Kevin of all people to vent to. Kevin continues to be a bastard trash baby.
Relationships: Kevin/Steven Universe
Comments: 23
Kudos: 166





	Unlikely and Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

Steven was tired. He didn’t know why, he didn’t know how, but he was absolutely drained all the time. He thought that leaving his position at Little Homeschool would fix things, but he still felt as tired as ever, which was strange because he didn’t do anything. He used to garden, but after even his fucking cactus left him, doing anything was just hard. He mainly got up, browsed the internet, ate, and slept all over again. He tried finding some sort of purpose, but no one needed his help. His desperation even grew to the point where he went to the diamonds. They were always all over him, but even they didn’t care about him anymore, too busy obsessing over Spinel, and Connie was always “too busy” with school.

He was truly alone. He couldn’t tell any of the gems how he felt. They were already dealing with so much. It would be selfish to dump his problems on them. It would be selfish to dump his problems on anyone. If opening up to a cactus made it suicidal, then he was pretty sure talking with anyone else would be a bad idea as well.

He couldn’t be a burden.

But at the same time, he _really wanted_ to be. He wanted to break down and start crying on someone’s shoulder and just hug them and never let them go. Connie, Lars, Sadie, Buck, they were all leaving him. He could theoretically visit Connie or Lars any time he wanted, but he wouldn’t let them bear the burden of his mistakes. That was supposed to be his job and he wasn’t even good at that anymore. Trying with Lars and Sadie just made everything worse and almost got them killed. He just needed someone to vent to. Someone who wouldn’t feel down because of his issues, an impassive listener who would let him cry on their shoulder and completely forget about him by the end of the night. Someone who- Wait.

Steven had a terrible idea forming in his head that repulsed him at first but got more and more appealing the further he lingered on it.

\--------------------

He couldn’t believe he was actually doing this. He was on the doorstep of the only person he hated more than White Diamond and was about to beg. Beg and cry like a baby. He really was repulsive, wasn’t he? No wonder the Crystal Gems treated him like a child; he certainly acted like one.

Sighing, he forced the self-deprecating thoughts out of his mind for a second. Right, he needed to focus, remember why he was here.

Kevin’s door stood ominously before him, tall and heavy. It almost felt like it was going to spring open and strike him any second. Steeling his nerves, the boy breathed deeply before lightly rapping his knuckles against the wood. For a few agonizing seconds, whether anyone would answer was uncertain, and Steven didn’t know whether to be relieved or not. A few scenarios flew through his head: running away like a coward before anyone could respond, no one answering at all, Kevin laughing in his face before immediately slamming the door shut. In the end, none of those came true.

“Who’re y- oh. It’s you. What do you want? Is your little girlfriend here too?” Kevin’s rude demeanor and forward stare snapped him out of his daydreaming.

“Hey, Kevin,” Steven tried to sound less annoyed than he felt. That smug look was enough to sour his mood. At least he was tall enough to meet Kevin’s eye level this time. “No, Connie’s not with me.”

He seemed slightly disappointed with that, “Then why are you here? Wanna ruin another party of mine?”

Another deep breath calmed him enough for what he was about to do, “No. In fact, I came to apologize about that. You really tried hard, and even if it _was_ for completely selfish reasons, you did at least try to help me. I shouldn’t have blown you off so soon afterwards, so I’m sorry.” The words stung as they left his tongue, but he had to do this. Fortunately, it seemed like it was working. The thinner boy seemed startled by that.

“You are? I- I mean of course you are! It’s been a while, but obviously you couldn’t resist the Kevin forever.” He was trying desperately to seem cool and collected. Steven would have almost found it cute if he didn’t want to punch him in his smug face.

The eye roll was impossible to resist, “Yeah, sure. Can I come in?” Kevin eyed him critically for a moment, scanning up before drifting down then up again quickly.

“…You grew. How old are you?” Of course, not wanting to waste his time with some stupid kid, Steven supposed.

“17,” he stated simply.

Kevin was quiet for a moment, like he was thinking something over. “Come in,” he eventually answered mysteriously. His stare deepened in a way the boy couldn’t place before he turned and led the way inside. The room was dull reds and beige, contrasting the cool color pallet of its host. He was led to the blood colored couch before an arm reached out toward him expectantly.

“Your jacket?”

“Oh, yeah. Here,” Steven spoke evenly as he shrugged off and handed over his jacket, trying his best not to sound threatening. His host went off to the kitchen to do god knows what while Steven hopelessly tried to make himself comfortable. He leaned back into the plush cushions, trying not to think about how vulnerable he felt in Kevin’s home. A shiver ran up his spine at the thought. Why? It made no sense. He knew he was strong enough to knock Kevin to Homeworld if he tried anything, but the tense feeling wouldn’t leave his shoulders. Just calm down. Just _calm down._

Two glasses were in the tanned hands as he returned, handing one to his guest. Steven quirked his brow.

“Drink up and chill out. I know I’m eye candy, but if you keep staring at me that way, I think you’re gonna burn a hole through me,” Kevin tried a neutralizing smile. The shift from condescending to light made Steven realize he was staring intensely into Kevin’s eyes ever since he opened the door. Once more, a cold breath entered his body as he tried to loosen up. It wasn’t working, so he tried to distract himself by drinking whatever was handed to him. He immediately regretted it.

“Wha- what is this? Why does it taste so bad?” they demanded with a start.

Kevin’s smile turned amused, “You seriously tellin’ me you’re 17 and you never had alcohol before?”

The younger boy blushed, irritated, “Well, no. I’m not 21 and it’s not like I have any way of getting it so…”

“So, now’s your chance,” he answered with a charming smile.

Steven hesitated. And then he started to down the glass. By the end of it, he was coughing and wheezing and felt like he was about to throw up, slamming the glass on the table before throwing himself back into the couch. Kevin was staring at him wide eyed. Then laughter erupted from him.

“Wow, Universe. You really have no chill, huh?” The older man sipped his own pink hued drink gently, settling next to his guest. “So, what did you want to talk about?”

“Huh? Oh. Uhh well…” he sank further into the cushions trying to hide his nervousness, “I, um, just wanted to apologize and maybe talk about some things on my mind? You know, because you’re such a good listener.” he tried giving off his best hopeful look. He knew Kevin loved attention and compliments, so he was hoping to play on that.

“Hmm… well, you’re right. I’m the greatest listener,” Kevin bragged in that self-righteous way, hand to his chest, “Go ahead then. Let therapist Kevin hear all your troubles.” That tone almost made him slap that look off his face, but he took another calming breath and forced his mouth open.

“Well, I’m going to be blunt then. Like, I feel I can’t talk to my friends or family because I don’t want to burden them? And that’s part of the reason why I came here, because I know you won’t really feel bad if I vent to you, because you don’t really care, I guess.”

“Hmm, you’re right, I don’t,” the suave man replied helpfully.

“Right… well I was always raised to believe that I had to become the leader of the Crystal Gems, that it was my life job to help people and fight for peace, but I was too good at my job, and there’s nothing to solve anymore. No one has any more problems and I should be happy, but I just feel worthless. Like I have nothing to do anymore, no purpose, and if I open up to them, I’ll just be a burden. I’m not even helping them with anything. Dumping my feelings on them would just be even worse. That’d make me less than useless. And I should be happy that things are changing and everyone’s moving on to the next step in their lives, but I’m selfish. I fought so hard for everyone’s happiness and they’re just leaving me like I don’t even matter-“ His rant broke off suddenly as he started breaking like a dam, burying his face in his hands to hide the gross tears and blush. He tried to stop, because he was crying in front of _Kevin_ of all people, but that realization of how weak he was just made him sob harder. He used to be so strong. When did he become this blubbering _mess?!_ Why did he come here? This was so stupid-

And suddenly, his face was being pressed into a hard chest. He tried to pull away, but someone was holding him close. Kevin was hugging him, and the curly haired boy didn’t know how to react. A free hand rubbed his back.

“Shh, shh baby, it’s gonna be okay,” a voice above crooned.

Steven didn’t know whether to be comforted or grossed out, but the man hugging him smelled like fresh lavender, and the gentle touches felt _so good._ Honestly, he didn’t realize how attention and touch starved he was until innocent touches on his back felt like lightning pleasure shooting up his spine, making him shiver and lean into the touch. The sobs turned into gentle hiccups as his whole body heated up and it started to feel like he was underwater.

His red, blown out eyes glanced up to his partner, “Ugh, Kevin I feel like I’m underwater and numbbbbbb.”

“Well, you did down a glass of strawberry tequila, so you’re probably drunk. Is it bad?” Kevin’s voice was sickly sweet, and Steven knew he should be creeped out, but he just wanted to sink into him further, wanted to open up fully and just be his gross self without hiding for once. Right now, he felt the freest and most honest he’s ever been in a while, and he just wants to stay in this weak mess forever.

“No. I mean, I feel sad but in a gooood way,” he slurred, wiping a tear away. “Mmm, I feel nice. My face is reaaaal warm.” And for some reason, he wants his hands on someone too. His better sense leaves him, and a thumb finds his way under the robin egg shirt hem, circling the space just above his hip. Kevin smirks to himself. His hands become a little braver, moving to under the boy’s shirt as well. However, instead of just a thumb, his whole hand explores the flush skin, burning with need. Beginning at the stomach and working his way up to take a nipple between two fingers to experimentally rub seems to have the desired effect. The boy whines and stares back up to lock eyes. God, he was wasted. His eyes were wide and cheeks pink. In fact, they were unnaturally pink. Strange, but he should have expected as much from a guy with a pink lion and weird gemstone in his stomach. Speaking of that…

“Why you have a gem in your bellybutton?” Seriously, this kid was weird, but this was a whole new level.

“Ah that’ssss my mom. She’s kinda a bitch, but I get gem powers from her, so that’s cool. Magic is fun,” he mumbled like it was the most normal thing in the world. Uhh, okay never mind. This kid needed to stop talking.

He tilted his head to the side a bit, closed his eyes, and went for the kiss. At first, Steven tensed up as his eyes flew wider, all muscles going taunt. A few beats pass as he wonders how he got into this mess, how things got this far out of hand.

Then he realizes he doesn’t care and _melts_ into the kiss. Hands feeling a little more adventurous as well, one moving up to pinch a nipple, and another reaching below that white hot hem and resting on his thigh. Everything is just too hot and too much and yet not enough at the same time and Kevin’s wearing too many fucking clothes. Breaking the kiss for a second, he rips that shirt off, and those tanned arms lift up to let him, giving the same treatment to his pink cheeked partner. Feeling assertive, the curly haired boy moved to straddle over him, eagerly returning to the kiss. Something gives and the pressure is more insistent as a tongue enters him, first teasing at the edges of his mouth before slowly swirling to join the waiting pink tongue. A part of Steven thinks that he must have had a lot of practice, before joining the dance.

A moan escapes him, and Steven is shocked at just how deep and _desperate_ it is. He doesn’t even realize when his arms pin beside his partner’s head, trapping him as he starts subconsciously rocking his hips into the kiss, building a steady rhythm. They almost couldn’t be closer together, chests pressed up against one another and erections creating beautiful friction as they grind into each other. Steven moans deeper as he becomes fully hard first. Tears pick the edges of his eyes as he starts fussing, wanting more. No, he _needs_ more. He feels like he’ll die if his jeans stay on for one more second. His partner seeming to get the picture, moves the youth off him and presses his back into the couch. Kevin is way too gentle removing his pants and then his own, it’s pissing him off. His boxers are next and it’s too slow and too loving and he thinks he’s going to claw Kevin’s eyes out if he keeps it up, the pink at his cheeks creeping down his neck.

And suddenly Kevin gets up and leaves and he thinks he’s going to have a panic attack because he’s _leaving_ just like everyone else and he can’t take it and-

“Woah, I just left to get condoms and lube. Chill out,” trying to soothe the whining mess on his couch, he moves back over him, pressing kisses into the side of his neck and rubbing at his chest in a caring manner. The younger one breaks.

“Stop acting like youuu give a shit and fuck me, hard. Bite me. Hiiiit me goddammit,” he bites back.

Woah, he wasn’t expecting something so kinky to come from such a soft, whiny boy. A lot has changed, hasn’t it?

Obliging, Kevin coats a finger in lube, simultaneously forcing it in and biting down hard on his collarbone. Steven stops fussing and a strangled moan rips its way out of his throat. Keeping up the pace, he bites again at a shoulder, waiting for his young lover to stop tensing up around him. When the time is right, he adds another digit, scissoring him open roughly as he bites hard enough to draw blood.

Steven is coming undone. He’s moaning and crying and he never ever wants this to stop. All his troubles are shoved to the back of his mind. He’s too blissed out and wasted to worry about anything at all other than his increasing need. He reaches up to yank Kevin’s stupid perfect hair so he can crash their lips together once more and taste his blood on their lips, relishing in the coppery tang. He gives Kevin a sharp nip at his bottom lip before the brunette breaks the kiss, positioning himself just so, and Steven can’t wait any longer. He wraps his legs behind their ass and forces the brunette to roughly enter him. They groan together as Kevin casts a downward glance.

“You okay?” breath husky.

“Yeah, fuck, _move!_ ” he shouts through half lidded, blown and teary eyes. He starts moving slowly, but Steven gets pissed off again and demands, “Fuck me like you mean it, Kevin. I thought you’d be good at this.”

That seemed to work, and suddenly he’s being fucked so hard he feels like his head is going to slam into the end of the couch with each thrust. His partner is biting his own lip, making it even bloodier as the concentrated blush on him makes it seems like he’s doing the most important thing in the world. His sweat drips onto Steven as his own moans become more insistent and lust filled. The younger lover can’t take it anymore as his hand drifts down to work his own weeping member, because he _needs_ it more than anything in the world. He needs to cum right now or he’ll actually explode into a million pieces.

Then suddenly he feels the hard cock pulse inside of him and Kevin moans into a bruising kiss, worrying his lower lip, and the starry-eyed boy feels an orgasm rip through all his senses. For a moment all he can see and think is pink pinkpinkpink as he groans louder than he ever thought possible. They’re riding out each wave of hot pleasure together until Kevin collapses onto him, still deep inside. They pant together, each trying to catch their breath and process what just happened.

Finally he’s able to gasp out a sentence, “Hah, you’re kinda crushin me here.” Kevin slowly sits up before pulling out and removing the condom, pleased at his handiwork beneath him. And then his younger partner violently rolled off the couch onto the floor searching around for his clothes before starting to clumsily dress. He was still extremely drunk. Kevin only puts his boxers on as he watches the boy fumble with his keys.

“Woah, what are you doing?” he holds the determined looking boy at bay, questioning him.

“’M tired. Need to get home,” he punctuated his sentence with a yawn, “The gems will worry about meee.”

“What? You’re way too drunk to go anywhere, and I’m _not_ having your death on my hands.” He grabs him by the shoulders and guides him back onto the couch with some force. “Drink some water then go to sleep. You can leave in the morning.”

They seem to contemplate this for a second before giving in, nodding their head and laying back on the coppery red surface once more, looking utterly wiped out. He returned with a glass of water and wouldn’t leave until it was all gone. He was the host, after all, and he didn’t want to deal with some kid with a hangover in his house. Satisfied, he left the living room to go pass out in his own bed. Steven wasn’t far behind, too drunk and exhausted to do anything else but fall into a peaceful slumber.

\--------------------

Warm rays caress his exposed skin as morning bleeds into afternoon. The curly haired boy awakes, stretching his arms and looking at his phone. It was 1:23 p.m. and he had a ton of missed calls from Pearl and a single text from Amethyst. Why…

Oh yeah.

His face burns bright red as the scene from last night plays out in his head. “Oh my god oh my god ohmygoddd. I can’t believe I slept with Kevin. I can’t believe I _lost my virginity_ to Kevin. What was I thinking? And why aren’t I more upset? Why did I like it so much? What the fuck?” his thoughts are cut short as he hears the front door slam shut.

“Oh, you’re still here. I thought you would have left by now,” the aloof adult stated casually.

“I just woke up, but uhh yeah, you’re right. I should really get going,” he makes a show of stretching dramatically and getting up and- OW! His ass _hurt._ He wasn’t expecting that. He takes a moment to kiss himself before standing back up again, grabbing his keys and going for his jacket. Kevin seemed content to ignore him for the most part, and Steven was grateful for that, happy that no one was worrying over him for once. The busy man’s lip screamed a deep purple color.

“Hey um, if you want, I have healing magic that can fix your-,” he gestures vaguely toward him, “Yeah.”

“Oh, thank god. Yes, c’mere,” he’s beckoned forward, and Steven wonders if he should say something first? After a moment’s hesitation, he decides to just go for it and kisses the other gently, pulling away after a few seconds. They pull their hand up to their lip and feel that it’s back to normal again, a bit of surprise painting his features.

“Huh. Interesting,” they muse as Steven looks away and blushes harshly, fiddling with the keys in his hands.

“Umm, is it okay if I… come back here sometime?” he tries sounding hopeful but can only muster the nervousness buzzing around his body. Without a word, the phone from his back pocket is pulled out and shoved in his hands. He got the message and unlocked it before handing it over.

“You can call me whenever you want. I’ll tell you if I’m available,” he easily replies, voice curt and to the point. He adds a bit more urgently, “Just know I am _not_ interested in any kind of relationship or even friendship or whatever. So if that’s-“

“I know. That’s why I came here in the first place. That’s ideal,” offering a small smile as he slides his phone back into his pocket. Slipping his jacket back on, he moves to leave until he’s stopped once more.

“Here,” a bottle of what looks like rum is shoved into his hands, “You should have this.”

Steven’s dark eyes stare at it for a moment before gratefully accepting it, “Thank you.” He smiles once more, and just like that, he’s out the door. Fastening his seatbelt, he responds to Amethyst’s text, saying he’s okay and coming home. He didn’t think he could talk with Pearl right now. He just wanted to go to his room and process. Pulling away, he glances at the rum in the passenger seat. Well, maybe a little bit more than process.

And just like that, Steven picked up two new unhealthy forms of stress relief, and he loved every second of it.


End file.
